The ability and motivation to care for ourselves is a
paradox
Everybody who has it can take it for granted, and might feel
ashamed if they demonstrate a failure to care for themselves. However many people struggle to meet even their most basic needs,
and some people experience guilt and shame when they look after themselves.
Sometimes this can be linked back to trauma, but it can also often be
linked back to childhood. It is now
almost universally accepted that children who are neglected or abused grow in
to adults with emotional/behavioural problems.
Those neglectful or abusive experiences can be understood as trauma,
which enables us to bring a modern scientific understanding to the process of
recovery.
We can also understand the impact of being raised in an environment
where neglectful and abusive experiences occur and recur as influencing all the
other functions of childhood, developing a personality, learning, acquiring
skills. In this understanding the emotional
and physical environment of childhood teaches us our worth (limited) our role
(to care for others or at least to prioritise their needs) and what we can
expect from life (pain).
If you are feeling miserable, uncomfortable, unwell, then the instant
comfort of junk food may appeal more than making the effort to cook a proper
meal. The same would apply to drugs (including alcohol, nicotine and caffeine). If you feel good, you will find it easier to
avoid behaviors which make you feel better straight away but have no long term
benefit.
